The Transformative Power of Self-Defense
It's a Saturday morning and I watch seven girls learning to calmly, quickly, and fiercely move out of choke holds and two-hand arm grips. The doors and windows are open, and warm light bathes the room. Kunchana, their self-defense instructor, reminds the girls to focus, to maintain eye contact, and encourages them to believe in their strength. One moment, they're giggling, unsure of themselves, the space, and the power of their bodies and minds. The next, they're escaping a hold from someone twice their size, their eyes wide. Kunchana looks at me after practicing the latest technique with one young woman and says, “she is very strong.”
For teen survivors of sexual abuse, healing and reclaiming a sense of safety is often a challenging and winding path. At Emerge, we know that this path is not linear, and no two paths are the same. We see trauma show up with different shadows: disconnection from the body, nightmares, fear, aggression, suicidal ideation, dissociation, and more. Many survivors struggle to form healthy attachments with others – sometimes attaching too quickly, other times fearing connection all together. But we’ve found, time and again, that none of these challenges have to be permanent.
We offer survivors different healing and power-building modalities, letting them discover what works best for them – the tools and compass they need to chart their winding journey. Along the way, many teens find that self-defense is a particularly helpful addition to their “toolbelt,” supporting healing, boosting confidence, and equipping them with practical skills for self-protection.
For one young graduate of our Emerge Centre, self-defense was her favorite course. “When I first started, I did not know how to protect myself. I felt scared of going out into society, I felt afraid when people looked at me or when I felt people were following me. It would make me want to run away. I never liked school very much, and I wasn’t very good at it,” She explained to us. “Self-defense is the first thing that has grabbed my interest. I have never been as good at something as I am at self-defense. I am happy with how far I have come. Now I feel like I can face things I am afraid of. I can face society, and I can face people without fear. When I am doing the class, I feel strong and excited and fully happy. I feel confident that I could protect myself from harm.”
As I watch these young women in their lesson, it’s clear why self-defense is such a powerful tool. It allows survivors to reconnect positively with their bodies, emphasizing that their bodies are strong, capable, and belong to them alone. We know from research and our work with survivors that physical activity can help release stored trauma in the body. The controlled, purposeful movements in self-defense can serve as a form of somatic therapy. And, training in a safe, supportive environment helps survivors learn to trust again and establish healthy physical boundaries.
Time and time again, we’ve also seen self-defense develop young women’s confidence, giving them a tangible sense of their strength and capability. As their skills improve, they often become less afraid, more aware of their power, and their confidence grows. The emphasis on being mindful, present, and alert helps them understand and experience their bodies and emotions in new ways and feel their power as it tangibly builds.
Our incredibly dedicated (and volunteer!) self-defense instructor, Kunchana, focuses on techniques that are designed to be effective regardless of participants’ size or strength. He encourages situational awareness and emphasizes empowerment over fear. Watching our participants work with Kunchana — a man fiercely committed to their growth and respectful of their boundaries — I know this work wouldn’t be as powerful with any teacher.
Kunchana understands the impact of trauma, the importance of boundaries, and how to create a safe, supportive learning environment. He respects everyone’s comfort level and pace, focusing on building survivors’ confidence and sense of agency, over their fear. And, by incorporating mindfulness, breathing exercises, and an attention to focus, he helps them manage their anxiety and stress.
Thank you, Kunchana, for the way you show up for these courageous young women — for the way you help them discover their strength, fuel their power, and help them heal. The space you have created is truly transformative. Now, it’s time for me to sign up for your class too!
With deep appreciation,
Alia
